really...(X-posted with myspace)

So I learned something new today, and honeslty I guess I could have gone with out knowing it...

I took on a new position a year ago, as most of you already knew...if not now you do...no need for congrats now its too late :)

Anyways, here I thought I was doing this great job, Yes we all make mistakes here and there, forget to cross the "t" dot the "i" simple stuff right WE ALL DO IT! Yes I dont get along with one of my co-workers the best but we get by she stays to herself I stay to mine. One of the main reasons she hates me is because...well really I dont know what I did to her but she just does. We are in different departments so no big deal I do my own thing. But other than her I get along with EVERYONE...or so I thought.

It came to my attention today that one of my co-workers...who I thought was my friend, I went wedding dress shopping with her for her wedding, we lived in the same apartment building for 2 years, we ALMOST lived together, I sit right next to her, her husband is sick with cancer and I made them some meals to freeze so they could spend more time together and not worry about cooking big meals...well it turns out that she complains about my work ALL THE TIME. Im sorry that hurts! If im doing something SO wrong that you have to complain about me all the time then why don't you say something to me. I've been working here for 7 years, are you telling me that after 7 years your going to and I quote the owner of the company "give the owner an earfull about my performance"and not say something to me? That really really hurt, it really makes me wonder about what everyone else here thinks about me being in this new position. Im sorry I didn't ask for this position I was asked to take it. I didnt apply, I didnt interview, i was asked by the higher ups to take it because I knew the position from previous times.

I can't not even begin to describe the actual hurt I feel right now. I try every day to do my job in a way that I think will be easy for everyone to understand, I paper trail my work so that things can be easily traced I do what I can to make my job easy and to find out that im doing it all wrong...yet no one explains to me HOW im doing it wrong. 7 years...and im not told how im doing something wrong? Is it how I look, how I talk, seriouly people how can someone hate me SO much to give someone an earfull on what im doing wrong but not say anything to me? Someone that I thought...was my friend?!